too much sacrifice.

mofu crap.

kung bakit nagpapadala pa ko sa sulsol nila. pwede namang hindi na lang kita isama. hahaha. lol.

it will cause me so much. it will also cost me a lot.

you in antipolo. me in angono. we have to be in pasay.

you can't leave till 12noon, we can't stay till 12 mindnight.

more than my safety, i have to be more sure of yours.

a 300-peso worth of ticket times 2. everything times 2.

hmmm. should i still listen to my friends and bring you with us?

or should i just buy myself a new shirt?

hahaha. i think i'll go for the latter one.

it's Christmas time once again, SOO??

eh ano? what if sa panahong ito eh naisipan kong magpalit pansamantala ng relihiyon? yung di nagse-celebrate ng pasko.
what if napili kong christmas character eh yung The Grinch?
what if hindi ako nag-unlimited texting kasi wala akong plano mag-relay ng very original and creative message na, "Merry Christmas! God Bless you and your family! have a blah blah blah.

"malamig ang simoy ng hangin"
hindi nga eh.
una, mainit kaya.
pangalawa, ang usok na, nag-advance Happy New Year na yung mga kapitbahay ko eh.

i was pretty excited for christmas season. isa sa mga dahilan na hindi ako pumayag magspend ng christmas sa amerika. i had a lot of plans that i was eager to see happen. DELUSIONS. ni isa sa mga plano ko, hindi nangyari. meron actually, sumapit naman yung pasko.

some of my December dreams that went to the garbage.

bumili ako ng new shirt that i was planning to wear for this certain occasion (clue: hindi pasko. haha) for some ugly and bullshit reasons, hindi ako nakapunta--(tama ba yung panlapi na ginamit ko? ewan ko lang.)

ang saya ng Lantern Parade '07. SAYA..ng. i came up with more than 200 pictures of mostly people i barely know or don't really know at all!

family christmas party. sa lahat ng araw na mahihilo ako, sa araw na yun pa. i spent the whole night inside the my auntie's house watching X-Men II. silang lahat ay nagsasaya sa garden.
bad side: lumabas na naman ang anti-social skills ko. yes, skills ko yun! HARHAR.
good side: atleast napanood ko na ng buo ang X-Men II at, higit sa lahat, na-conquer ko na ang FEAR ko sa ROCKING CHAIR! oo, tama yun, takot akong umupo ng relaxed sa rocking chair. labo. mga isang oras akong nakaupo sa rocking chair nang hindi sumasandal hanggang sa napagdesisyunan kong sumandal.

at ayan, pasko na. pero mag isa nalang akong gising dito. kamusta naman yun? and to add more to the nega vibes, ka-chat ko pa eh mga taong out of sync din ang christmas spirit.

tanggap kong it's Christmas, pero hindi ito Merry for me. i wanted it to be memorable. in a good way pero hindi. i'll be spending my next christmas in states, i'm sure it'll be fun coz it's my first. pero iba pa rin kung pasko dito sa pinas.

hay. can't wait na mag December 26, para legal na magkaron ng negative vibes. haha.

"maligayang pasko sa inyo" -para ito sa inyo
"pasko na" -para naman sakin.

is it on the right hand?

is it?
or is it somewhere inside the closet?
under the cluttered sheets or the bed?
on top of the drawer, table or whatever?
hanging on a silver lace?
between some folded clothes in that carry-on?
tucked in that tight pocket?

where is it?
or, where was it left?

while mine's still on the left.

BIG Deal

Sabi mo, "Bakit ba big deal yun sayo?"

Well, "Big deal sakin yung bigla kang mawawala..."

whether tungkol 'to sa bigla kang aalis sa YM conversation natin o sa buhay ko.

BIG DEAL yun sakin.

lalo na yung panghuli.

tulad ngayon, sobrang BIG deal nito para sakin. - yung bigla mong pag alis sa buhay ko.

TELL HER...

I know how it feels
To wake up without her
Lying here all alone
Just thinking about her

I can't believe her hold on me
It's something indescribable
I know she knows
But won't you please?

If you see my girl
Just tell her I miss her smile
Tell her I'm counting the minutes
Gonna see her in a little while
I know when she holds on to me
She's the one thing that I could never live without
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Tell her I love her
Oh yeah, just tell her "I love her"

The way that she moves
You know what it does to me
And when I catch her eye
I can hardly breathe

Still can't believe her hold on me
She's just so indescribable
I know she knows
But wont you please, please ?

If you see my girl
Just tell her I miss her smile
Tell her I'm counting the minutes
Gonna see her in a little while
I know when she holds on to me
She's the one thing that I could never live without
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Tell her I love her
Oh yeah, just tell her "I love her"

Every time that I'm around her
I just go to pieces crashing tumbling to the ground
I'm so glad I found her
I know how it feels

If you see my girl
Just tell her I miss her smile
Tell her I'm counting the minutes
Gonna see her in a little while
I know when she holds on to me
She's the one thing that I could never live without
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Tell her I love her
Oh yeah, just tell her "I love her"

Oh yeah, just tell her I love her

Will you? Thank You.

Mental Constipation

Yehh. Writer's block.
I have so much emotions but I can't put them into words.
*sigh*

The Magic of the Carousel

A memory that stays with me. Well, stayed with me.

These were the lights that left me in an awe upon staring at your face. You were like a Princess with every bit of beauty that you were wearing. If only I could, I would have brought myself down on my knees to praise you. As the Carousel spinned with all its glimmering lights and and melodious tune, I have brought myself to a fantasy, to a dream, to a place where I could have told you that I was in love you. And as the Carousel made its stop, I knew right then it was like any other fleeting romance.

I Think I'm Pessimistic

"i think im pessimistic, i just feel like i am. that's how i feel about my life"

hahaha. lol. overheard from a white yuppie at starbucks lincoln park, chicago.

i just can't help but laugh it off.

Home: Freakin Home!

Welcome to my "other" family....

The members.
My Dad. The evil step father to my two step siblings.
Yell. Yell.
Civilized tone of talking does not apply to him. I'm sorry.

My step Mom. The push over mom.
Whatever. I don't feel the authority.
Feed the sick baby chocolates.
Make the baby drink coke.
Duh!!!

My step sister. The BITCHY SELFISH kind.
What more do I have to say?
She's EVERYTHING I would NOT want for a sister.

My annoying baby brother.
The spoiled brat.
Give him coke and chocolate or else,
COVER YOUR DAMN EARS!!!

Thanks to my step brother.
The sole reason why I can keep myself together.

Imagine living this life.
Yeah this is the life.
THE FREAKIN FAMILY LIFE!

The Mok is HAPPY now.

yeaaa.
can't wait to see you again.

Welcome back, SADNESS...

You came knocking on my door again.
Hey, it's been awhile.
Haven't been with you for so long.
Here you are, bringing me back those
signature sighs...
long face...
silence...
and tears...
Just like old times, yeah?
How long do you plan to stay now?
How long do you want to keep me company?

You're always a part of my life
But why do you visit so often?

When are you leaving?
Is it anytime soon?

I have to admit,
You're not very welcome in my life.

Coz you're the only visitor
Who never gave me a smile.

whatever it takes

A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know

Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down

And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change

I'll keep us together, whatever it takes

She said, "If we're gonna make this work

You gotta let me inside even though it hurts

Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"

She said, "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be

You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"

I know you deserve much better
But remember the time
I told you the way that I felt

That I'd be lost without you and never find myself

Let's hold onto each other above everything else

Start over, start over

click play tab to hear the song